- The Early Bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them to sit down and shut up.
- He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
- A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
- How is it one careless match could start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- God must love stupid peoples. He made so MANY.
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
- Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
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Epic One Liners
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Saturday, June 18, 1983
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