Epic One Liners

1. The Early Bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
2. Children: You spend the first two years of their life teaching them how to walk and talk. The next sixteen? Spent telling them to sit down and shut up.
3. He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
4. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
5. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
6. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
7. How is it one careless match could start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
8. God must love stupid peoples. He made so MANY.
9. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
10. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.